Poet of the Month 014: JOSHUA JENNIFER ESPINOZA

JOSHUA JENNIFER ESPINOZA
2012

 

 

 

 

[2 untitled poems]

i will always be the person who went to the grocery store in cigarette-burned pajamas every day for five months

 

i will always be the person who wanted to die and didn’t

 

i will always be the person who lost twenty pounds
in one month and i will always be the person who gained it back

 

i will always be the person who decided, while crying
in the passenger seat of your car, to be better

 

i will always be the person who paused when you first said “i love you” just to take the moment in

 

i will always be the person who survived the unsurvivable 

 

i will always be the person who fought like hell for it

*

i read a bunch of words in front of people
and then i drive on the freeway and feel okay.
i realize that everything is a freeway
me speaking aloud is a freeway
you touching my hand is a freeway
my nervous smile is a freeway
you pulling away from me is a freeway
and tomorrow is coming whether i want it to or not
with or without me there.
it doesn’t matter
most things don’t, i guess,
so it evens out and everything does matter
in comparison to everything else.
red lights create space for their paths
i create space for my path
i am a red light flying seamlessly over asphalt
i am fucked in a great many ways
it is perfect to be this
it is perfect to be anything.

 

 

 

 

Published online December 2013

© 2013 Joshua Jennifer Espinoza

 

 

The following biographical statement appears on the poet's Tumblr blog.  [It is re-posted here for recommendation purposes only and, like the poems, remains its author's exclusive copyright-protected intellectual property.] 

hello friends, my name is joshua. i’m 25 years old and i write mostly about having panic attacks on freeways and wanting to die and not wanting to die and my girlfriend and being trans and being mentally ill and trying to survive and live life to the fullest. i’ve been published in word riot and in/words. please feel free to be my facebook friend!

 

Joshua Jennifer Espinoza is also the author of two poetry collections titled Synthesia and I Had A Dream About The End of the World and You Weren't In It and a powerful short story titled Adam.

 

Everything she writes is incredibly honest and deeply moving.  I urge everyone to read her. 

 

 

 

Use the links below to visit the blog of North American poet, writer, musician and spoken word performance artist JOSHUA JENNIFER ESPINOZA and find the collection Synthesia on the pay-to-download site Scribd:

 

 

http://blankslate.tumblr.com/

 

 

 

 

http://www.scribd.com/doc/157777715/synesthesia 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Poet of the Month 013: KARYS PK

 

 
Poet of the Month 012: CLEMENTINE VON RADICS

 
Words for the Music 001: DAVID BOWIE

 

 

 

Last updated 18 March 2021