Anxiety has a purpose. Originally the purpose was to protect the existence of the caveman from wild beasts and savage neighbors. Nowadays the occasions for anxiety are very different –– we are afraid of losing out in the competition, feeling unwanted, isolated, and ostracized. But the purpose of anxiety is still to protect us from dangers that threaten the same things: our existence or values that we identify with our existence. This normal anxiety of life cannot be avoided except at the price of apathy or the numbing of one's sensibilities and imagination.
The omnipresence of anxiety arises from the fact that, when all is said and done, anxiety is our human awareness of the fact that each of us is a being confronted with nonbeing. Nonbeing is that which would destroy being, such as death, severe illness, interpersonal hostility, too sudden change which destroys our psychobehavior, we do not need to resort to such crass examples as our walking down the other side of the street to avoid meeting someone who reduces our self-esteem. In all sorts of subtle ways, the manner in which people talk, joke, argue with each other demonstrates their need to establish their security by proving they are in control of the situation, avoiding what would otherwise be anxiety-creating situations. The quiet despair under which Thoreau believed most people live is largely covered over by our culturally accepted ways of allaying anxiety.
Such avoidance of anxiety is the purpose of many behavior traits which are called 'normal,' and can be termed 'neurotic' only in their extreme, compulsive forms. 'Gallows humor' comes to the fore particularly in times of anxiety; and, like all humor, it gives people a welcomed distance from the threat. Human beings do not often say outright, 'We laugh that we may not cry;' but they much more often feel that way. The ubiquitous joking in the army and on the battle field are examples of the function of humor to keep one from being overcome by anxiety. The public speaker tells a joke to start his speech, fully aware that the laughter will relieve the tension with which people confront him as he stands at the podium, a tension which could otherwise lead to anxiety-motivated resistance to the message he is trying to communicate.
The Meaning of Anxiety (1950, revised 1977)
Use the links below to read a short introduction to the theory and practice of Existential Psychotherapy and watch a 10 minute video that explains the work of North American Existential Psychotherapist ROLLO MAY:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/201101/what-is-existential-psychotherapy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wms_RXEta5c
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