19 May 1953 – 20 April 2016
(THE BALLAD OF FREDA AND BARRY)
VICTORIA WOOD
BBC TV – 1988 version
Freda and Barry sat one night
The sky was clear, the stars were bright
The wind was soft, the moon was up
Freda drained her cocoa cup
She licked her lips, she felt sublime
She switched off Gardener's Question Time
Barry cringed in fear and dread
As Freda grabbed his tie and said:
'Let's do it, let's do it, do it while the mood is right
I'm feeling appealing, I've really got an appetite
I'm on fire with desire
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!'
But he said:
'I can't do it, I can't do it, I'm not exactly Russell Brand
You're thwarted, I'm sorted, got me evening's telly planned
It's a pity, the nitty gritty,
I've taped eleven episodes of Holby City
Can't do it, can't do it tonight!'
So she said:
'Let's do it, let's do it, do it till our hearts go boom
Go native, creative, living in the living room
This folly is jolly
Bend me over backwards on me Hostess trolley
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!'
'Can't do it, can't do it, me heavy breathing days are gone
Niagara, Viagara, nothing really turns me on
Stop stewing, boo-hooing
I've had a good look down there and there's nothing doing
Can't do it, can't do it tonight!'
'Let's do it, let's do it, while I'm really in the mood
Three cheers, it's years since I caught you even semi-nude
Get drastic, gymnastic
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!'
'Can't do it, can't do it, it's really not my cup of tea
I'm harassed, embarrassed, wish you hadn't picked on me
Don't choose me, don't use me
My mother sent a note to say you must excuse me
Can't do it, can't do it tonight!'
'Let's do it, let's do it, I really absolutely must
I won't exempt you, want to tempt you
Want to drive you mad with lust
No cautions, just contortions
Smear an avocado on me lower portions
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!'
'Can't do it, I can't do it, I must refuse to get unzipped
I'm tearful, I'm fearful, worried that I'm ill-equipped
Don't bully, I can't fully
Guarantee to cope without a rope and pully
Can't do it, can't do it tonight!'
'Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to run amok
Let's wiggle, let's jiggle, let's really make the rafters rock
Be mighty, be flighty
Come and bite the buttons off me flame-proof nightie
Let's handle some scandal
Come and sip Ribena from my peep-toe sandal
Surprise me, chastise me
Let's be Fern and Phil and you can patronize me
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!'
Get festive, get restive
Dunk me in a duvet like a big digestive
Just humour a late bloomer
Stuff my Christmas stocking with your big satsuma
Not meekly, not bleakly
Beat me on the bottom with the Women's Weekly
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!'
The death of writer, director, composer, actor and comedian Victoria Wood on 20 April 2016 robbed Britain (and the world) of a unique and special talent. Wood was adept at taking the mundane and sometimes painful aspects of life and turning them into a kind of hilarious verbal ballet that never loses sight of the fact that our realities only very rarely match our expectations. As she once so humorously observed: 'Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.'
Wood's most enviable gift was her finely tuned ear for spoken language and her ability to discover humour in even the dullest and most commonplace of human activities. Her 1998-2000 BBC sitcom Dinnerladies remains, to my mind, the perfect showcase for her genius and one of the greatest comedy programs ever produced in Britain or, for that matter, anywhere else. Set in the staff canteen of a struggling components factory in her native Manchester, Dinnerladies focuses on the friendship of five female canteen workers (the 'ladies' of the title), their two male colleagues and various eccentric (but never overplayed) characters who flit in and out of their lives during the course of one eventful year. The show –– which was twice nominated for a BAFTA for Best Comedy Series but mysteriously never won –– manages the rare feat of being consistently hilarious, sharply satirical and, at times, poignant in a way that few sitcoms ever have the courage to be. It also features a stellar performance by Wood's close friend and long time associate Julie Walters as Petula –– the flatulent, alcoholic, food-and-money scrounging mother of her character Brenda whose days are spent chasing younger men and telling outlandish tales about celebrities she's never actually met. As great as Walters is, the show remains a textbook example of ensemble acting at its finest and will be a treat for anyone who has never had the pleasure of watching it.
Let's Do It (or The Ballad of Freda and Barry as the tune is also known) stems from the same sharp observation that guided Wood's best television work, taking something –– the declining libidos of long-married couples –– that, at first glance, may appear to be unpromising material for a jaunty comic song lasting more than five minutes. Yet Wood makes a triumph of it, juxtaposing the ordinary and the surreal, the tedious and the bizarre, as Freda's enthusiasm encroaches ever more dauntingly on the personal space of the disinterested and increasingly panicked Barry. It's less a song than a slice of life wittily set to music, served up with a very British kind of cheekiness and an infectious tune which recalls the golden days of variety and music hall while remaining completely contemporary, relevant and, best of all, laugh out loud funny.
This version of Let's Do It comes from the 2009 Christmas Special Victoria Wood's Mid-Life Christmas. It is not the version featured in the YouTube clip above. Sadly, that version was removed by the BBC for copyright reasons.
Special thanks to everyone who takes the time to upload music to YouTube. Your efforts are appreciated by music lovers everywhere.
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Last updated 5 April 2021
