If you are to reveal yourself, warts and all, to another human being — and this is an essential part of growth, as well as being necessary for mental health — self-preservation demands that that person has no reason to use your vulnerabilities against you. Any inequality provides an ulterior motive to do just that. An 'inferior,' whether by class, caste, employment or simply in the world's eyes at the time, might be a true friend and confidant unto death but there are many reasons why he or she should not be; and if, for instance, a livelihood is dependent upon a 'superior,' the motives for using that friendship are heightened.
Between 'superior' men and 'inferior' women, the same distrust occurs, foundation for the battle between the sexes. Many a woman does not receive the full confidence of her husband because he knows, however much that knowledge be concealed, that the relationship is a dependent one and that if a crunch comes, her economic survival may oblige her to use her knowledge against him. For the same reason, women conceal things from their husbands — there is too much at stake for them to afford such intimacies… In any unequal relationship, the two concerned must devote a precious amount of energy simply to jockeying for position and the relationship devolves from a frank exchange to a tiring and constricting conflict of strategies. It is not easy to be honest with an equal who has no reasons to use your weaknesses. How much more difficult when the motive is there.
In The Name of Love (1979)
Use the link below to read a tribute to pioneering British feminist and writer JILL TWEEDIE (1936–1993) posted in the online archive of The Guardian:
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